We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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