he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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