no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize