Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My breasts were aching with rage.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
