So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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