I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
