Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize