I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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