my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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