then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
