Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
