So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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