I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
