Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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