why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
