great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
