if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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