So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
