Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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