with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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