Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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