Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
