It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize