im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
