I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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