Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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