Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
