Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize