Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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