We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
