I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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