fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
