I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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