is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize