Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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