She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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