you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
