1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
