Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize