I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just invented taco cereal.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
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