You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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