If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
