if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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