Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize