I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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