Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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