i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
