can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm way too hungover for life right now
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
