season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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