Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
