you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
