How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
