Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I need to align my fucking chakras
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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