Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
