Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
