One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
