whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
