Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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