You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So much Jack, so little girl.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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