We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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