People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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