i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
