ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
