It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
